Under the Influence of Nerves
by Kat Ducat
Summary: Just before her wedding, Hermione stops functioning like the reasonable person she is. Luckily for her, Ginny is there to help. Hermione/Ginny femslash, with heavy mentions of Ron/Hermione.


_A/N: Written for Breastroke 100-1000 in the 2012 Hogwarts Games hosted by the unendingly wonderful Fire the Canon and Lady Phoenix Fire Rose. You guys deserve all the gold medals in the world for persevering with this for so long._

)O(

Hermione stands there in the privacy of the preparation room, prettier than ever in her white wedding dress. Somehow though, she doesn't feel very pretty, or at least, what she associates with feeling pretty.

She doesn't feel confident, or happy, or sexy. All she feels if nervous, and as if she could run away at this moment and it would all be for the better.

She still wants to marry Ron, or at least she still wanted to marry him this morning. She knows that she should do it, that she had to do it, because it is what's best for her and it's what _will _make her happy in the long term. She loves Ron more than anyone, but now, she's forgotten.

For once in her life, Hermione can't think straight. She'd sit down and drink some water—but that would only mess up her dress and makeup. She can't destroy the work of all the people who fussed over her today just because she's feeling a little weak.

She's felt far worse, and for better reasons.

It's not surprising then that when Ginny comes into the room, she relaxes a little. Maybe if she talks to someone about it, she can get rid of it.

"Feeling all right Hermione? Ready?" Ginny asks, beaming.

And then Hermione feels that no, Ginny's presence here will not help. In fact, it can only make it worse. She can feel her mood start to drop once more, can feel her hands start to shake.

Ginny, like everyone else gathered here today, expects Hermione to be on top of things. This is what she wanted, isn't it? She loves Ron. She wants to marry him, today. She. Wanted. This.

"I'm fine," Hermione answers, fighting to keep her face straight. "It's a lot to think about, you know?"

"Oh yeah. Personally, I couldn't stop shivering when I was about to marry Harry. I would have run out on him if Luna hadn't restrained me and talked some sense into me," Ginny laughs lightly. "She can be really focused when she wants to be."

"I don't remember that," Hermione says, frowning. Maybe if she can concentrate on something else, the nerves will go away.

"I think you had gone inside already, to make sure that everyone was sitting in the correct seats. It was very much a last minute thing." Ginny, who has been leaning against a windowsill, looking outside, now walks up to face Hermione.

"Hey…what aren't you telling me?" she whispers, touching her hand to Hermione's face to wipe away a lone tear rolling down her cheek. "What's up?"

"I—I can't do this," Hermione whispers in a voice almost too soft to hear. Ginny can't remember what she looked like when she was Petrified in her second year, but she imagines that it looked a lot like the expression now residing on Hermione's pale features.

"You don't mean that, Hermione. Just stop thinking for one moment, all right? Let this wedding take its course, and I promise you that you won't regret it."

"I can't get married," Hermione continues, deaf and blind to Ginny's efforts. "I'm in no state to be marrying anyone."

"You're in no state to be making major decisions. As for the decision to marry my brother, I'll grant you, it probably wasn't one of the best ones you've ever made, but no-one forced you into it. You wanted to do it. Hell, you still want to do it, but right now you've gone temporarily insane so of course you're thinking of all the problems with it." Ginny strokes Hermione's cheek. "Just walk through those doors and I'll take care of the rest, all right?" she says, gesturing to the double doors that separate the bride from the aisle she's about to walk down.

"Ginny, no." She starts to back away. "I don't think I love Ron."

"Shut up, Hermione," Ginny growls, making up the distance between them with a few swift steps. "Of course you still love Ron. You love him more than you love anyone in the world. Want proof?"

With a wicked grin, she grabs Hermione by the waist and kisses her, full on the lips. At first Hermione is so surprised that she doesn't do anything except what she usually does when anyone (_Ron) _kisses her, which is to put her hands on her partner's shoulders and wait until she can feel his tongue in her mouth before putting hers in his.

For a few seconds, she is kissing Ginny as if she had just found her one true love and wouldn't let go in spite of anything.

It's a surprise to her then that it's Ginny who pulls away first. "Feel better?" the Weasley girl asks, just a bit breathless.

"Definitely. Thanks for that rather, er, unconventional way of helping me, Ginny. Thanks for reminding me." Hermione smiles, and even though her smile is warm, her eyes don't reflect it.

"I think I'm supposed to go now," she says. "Dad will be waiting in the next room."

"Right. You should go then. Go marry Ron," Ginny says. "I'll be waiting for at the altar."

As she goes, Hermione can't help but think that the kiss might have been very counter-productive. It did remind her of Ron, and it did bring some of that hot-blooded emotion back into her life, but she wonders if it might not have been _too_ effective.

At first she was only fretting about if marrying was the right thing for her to do. Now, she's also started fretting about if she's marrying the right person.

If only she didn't over-think things, her life might have been a lot easier…

)O(

_Fin_


End file.
